I'm Back!

It's been awhile! I'm sorry I haven't been on in such a long time, I've been very busy with college. I'm currently studying at the University of Minnesota here in Minneapolis, MN. Everything's been pretty good, except I miss home of course. It really hits me that I'm not home anymore when I can't go see my family whenever I want. Which is starting to get to me because my Grandpa has fallen quite ill and I can't go see him. Because of that I am transferring to Missouri State University at semester so I can be close to my grandparents. MO State has all of my major and minor classes and it's very similar to the UofM so I'm not too worried about it. Other than college I've been busy working at my new job and trying to stay sane with attempting to balance course work, social life, and work.
As you all know, I have a heart condition. I've been having some pretty intense episodes lately with a change in symptoms which is scary (in the 3 years I've had it the symptoms have always been the same). Now I get a lot of discomfort and "just got the wind knocked out of you" feeling along with my normal symptoms. But because I am in Minnesota, and my cardiologist is in Missouri I have to wait until winter break to see her. I'm also getting my wisdom teeth out over break with is making me anxious because I've never had to have a tooth pulled before! However, I am taking everything one day at a time trying to stay positive and happy.

If you would like to help me out with moving back to Missouri please visit here. This page will tell you what's been going on and how you can help.

DFTBA,

Dallas ♥
Be Kind. Smile. Love.

Hi There!

Dallas here! Wow, this is strange, I feel like I'm talking to myself. Anyways, I've decided to write a little about what's been happening in my life recently.

1. Name Change.
Yes, name change. I want to change my first name. I don't like my first name right now, Dallas... it just doesn't work. It doesn't make me happy. I'm almost 18 and hopefully I'll be able to change it soon. Although some of my family has mixed feelings. I want my name to be Rowan, like the tree and the Norse tree goddess. It just feels, right. And it makes me happy. I like to think that's what really matters, that it makes me happy. If it's what I want, why should my family be mad? I just want to be happy.
2. College, Scholarships, Adulthood?
The stress of growing up is unparalleled. I never in my 17 and some months years of life ever been so stressed and excited and anxious at the same time. Honestly I cannot wait to go to college. Mostly because I cannot wait to be my own person... really be my own person you know. It bugs me that some people try to tell me otherwise, that I cannot go to my dream college, but I'm learning to ignore them. It's probably because I want to study out of state... I'm taking a five hour plane trip away. But it's my life, my happiness, my future. No one else. And man am I excited!
3. Family, Family, Family. 
This one is hard to talk about. It's like scraping your knee, the mark is there for a while. And my mark is still there. I just want to say, never ever let family tell you that you aren't allowed to leave. If you are being hurt in anyway, if you are uncomfortable, if you are anything but happy you have the right to leave. Family is not defined by blood, family is defined by love. And love is a two-way street that demands respect.
4. Telling secrets to people you love and trust will set you free.
I'm still learning to do this, it's hard to share your pain. It's hard to feel like you are burdening the other person. You are not a burden, love comes with weight, it is easier to carry it if you share.

That's all I have today,
DFTBA,
Dallas ♥
Be kind. Smile. Love.